


Don't Touch That Dial

by dontcare77ghj



Series: WandaVisionReader [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, WandaVision (TV)
Genre: 1960s, Comfort, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Multi, Talent Shows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 05:41:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29994735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontcare77ghj/pseuds/dontcare77ghj
Relationships: Vision (Marvel)/Reader, Wanda Maximoff/Reader, Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Wanda Maximoff/Vision/Reader
Series: WandaVisionReader [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2197974
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	Don't Touch That Dial

Non-reader POV

It was the middle of the night. Vision, Y/N, and Wanda were all sound asleep in their single beds when Wanda bolted upright at a loud thudding sound.  
"What was that?" Wanda wondered aloud. She looked to her right to see Y/N and Vision sleeping. For a second, she questioned if she should chance to wake them up, but when the thuds continued, she turned the light on with her magic.  
Stop being silly, Wanda chided herself, turning the light off. But what if it is something? Wanda wondered, snapping the light back on. It's probably nothing, Wanda. She decided turning the light off again, this time for good.  
While Wanda was debating waking her loves, she hadn't noticed they had already woken.  
"Wanda?" Vision asked, pulling his eye mask off.  
"Yes, dear?"   
"Are you using your powers to turn on the light?" Vision questioned, staring at the window.  
"Yes, dear," Wanda admitted, feeling guilty.  
"Allow me, dear." Vision said, getting out of bed as Y/N sat up.  
"What even woke you up?" Y/N asked before there was another loud thud. "Never mind."  
"What do you see?" Wanda questioned Vision, who was now standing at the window.  
"Only your lovely rosebushes and carnations," Vision told her.  
"That's all?" Y/N wondered.  
"Are you using your night vision, Vision?" Wanda quizzed the man.  
"I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss." Vision promised, turning to face both women. "You have absolutely no reason to be frightened." The android said before there was another loud bang. Vision let out a loud yelp and jumped back into bed quickly.  
"You were saying?" Y/N asked, raising a brow while Wanda shook her head.   
"Actually, I did overhear a couple of lads at work remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood. Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to? Robbing houses, vandalizing property." Vision suggested.  
"Walking through walls. Moving objects without touching them. Causing lightning of sunny days." Wanda teased.  
"I did that once, and it was because you scared me," Y/N grumbled.   
"Wanda, sweetheart, you can't possibly be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us," Vision asked before there was another bang.  
The three jumped, and Wanda caused all three beds to join.  
"One of us should really determine the source of that sound." Vision commented.  
"That's something we could do," Y/N said, clutching her blankets.  
"One of us should." Wanda agreed.  
It was more a bang this time that caused them all to jump.  
"Oh, this getting ridiculous." Y/N snapped, pushing her blankets down. "I am going to take a look."   
"Be careful, Y/N."  
"Oh, God."   
Without moving from her spot, Y/N blew the curtains open to reveal the tree. Its branches, crashing against the window.  
"Well, I think we handled that well," Wanda said, sinking down into the bed.  
"Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. And look how you seized the opportunity to redecorate." Vision said, noting that all their beds were pressed together.  
"This is better, isn't it?" Wanda asked.  
"Mmm." Vision nodded before Wanda pointed her finger, and instead of three separate beds, the three of you were now on one large joint bed.  
"Why did it take us this long?" Y/N asked, smiling at how close she was to her husband and wife.  
"Wanda, darling?"  
"Yes, dear?"  
"Hit the lights."   
The three pulled the blankets over their heads, and Wanda snapped the lights off.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick, I bring you The Cabinet of Mysteries." Vision practiced in front of an invisible audience. "Wanda, that's your cue."   
"You said "The Cabinet of Mysteries?" Wanda called from behind him.   
"I said "The Cabinet of Mysteries."  
"Then that's my cue." Wanda agreed and began to wheel a large cabinet into their living room.  
"Holy Toledo!" Vision exclaimed, rushing to help Wanda. "Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show have such elaborate props?"  
"Are you kidding? Fred and Linda are building a moat and a fully functioning portcullis, and no-one knows why." Wanda shook her head.   
"I heard Fred was going to throw Linda into the moat," Y/N said from inside the cabinet. "Can we hurry this along? I'm getting claustrophobic." She added.  
"Let's keep going." Wanda nodded, taking her place.  
"Yes. Yes. Where was I? Ah, yes, watch closely as I, Illusion, Master of Enigma, make my captivating assistant, Glamour, disappear." Vision rehearsed as Wanda held her hand up and gasped. The two opened the doors, and Vision helped Wanda into the cabinet.  
"You really are very dashing." Wanda complimented, breaking character.  
"Thank you, darling." Vision smiled. "Fear not, Glamour, for I, Illusion vow, to bring you back." The android said, shutting the doors on Wanda. "Abracadabra." He announced, opening the doors to reveal Y/N standing in Wanda's place. "What's this? I seem to have changed my lovely assistant into another lovely being."   
"I saw your assistant in the dimension of the cabinet," Y/N said as Vision helped her out. "To bring her back, I think you'll have to try the spell again."  
"So we shall." Vision nodded. He and Y/N closed the doors once more, and Vision held his wand at the ready. "Abracadabra." He said, tapping the cabinet twice, and when the doors opened, this time, there stood Wanda, who was clapping her hands and grinning widely.  
"Darlings, you're not at all worried that the audience might just see through this little charade?"  
"That's the whole point, sweetheart," Y/N assured her husband. "In a real magic act, everything is fake. Not everyone can do what Wanda does."  
"The talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season, and it's our neighborly duty to participate." Wanda fretted. "Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so."  
"Well, I don't think that should be a problem." Vision joked, gesturing to his undisguised face.  
Y/N and Vision chuckled at Vision's joke, but Wanda just stared between the two.  
"This is our home now. I just want us to fit in." Wanda admitted.  
"Oh, Wand, of course, we fit in," Y/N promised, resting her hand on the woman's waist.  
"And if not, then we shall. And we're going to knock the neighborhood's socks off. Especially if the two of you are dressed like this." Vision commented, picking up one of his wife's costumes.  
"Oh, that's actually the rest of your costume." Wanda joked, cracking a smile. "Oh, Y/N, we better get going if we want to make the planning committee meeting." Wanda gasped, noting the time on her wristwatch.  
"That's me off too, actually." Vision said, pulling on his sweater. "There's a gathering of the neighborhood watch at the public library. After last night's excitement, I want to make sure this town's security is up to snuff." He admitted.  
"That's an outta sight idea, Vis." Y/N complimented.  
"Real swell, sweetheart. You tell those tree branches whose boss." Wanda teased, leaning up to kiss the man.  
"Would you look at us? Wanda, Y/N, and Vision, Westview fitter-inners." Vision smiled before kissing Y/N. "I'll see you both at curtain call." He said, moving to leave.  
"Do you have your keys, Vis?" Y/N aked before he left the house.   
"Of course." Vision said, pulling on a hat and his glasses. "When have I ever forgot them?" He wondered, causing Y/N and Wanda to share a look.  
"Just now, to name one time," Wanda said, floating Vision his set of keys.  
"Oh. Perhaps my processors need a cleaning." Vision mused, changing his appearance and taking the floating keys. "Until curtain call!" He exclaimed.  
"Until curtain call!" Both women called back.

Y/N and Wanda still had several minutes before they had to leave for the committee meeting. The two moved around the house, putting dishes away, straightening trinkets, and fluffing pillows when there was a loud noise outside.  
"Do you think it's the tree?" Y/N wondered as Wanda began to move out the front door.   
But Wanda didn't respond as she continued to walk in a trance-like state.  
"Sweetheart?" Y/N asked, following after her wife. Wanda moved outside and towards the rosebushes where a toy helicopter sat. "Do any of our neighbors have children?" Y/N asked, receiving no response once again.  
Wanda pulled the toy out of the bush and stared at it in confusion.   
"Wanda? Sweetheart?" Y/N asked, resting a hand on her shoulder.  
"Howdie stars!" Agnes exclaimed, suddenly appearing at the gate.   
Both Y/N and Wanda jumped as Agnes chuckled.  
"Agnes! Y/N!" Wanda chuckled, holding one hand to her chest. "I'm sorry, what did you say, Agnes?" Wanda asked, taking Y/N's hand and clutching it tightly.  
"I brought my pet rabbit," Agnes said, holding up a cage with a large rabbit. "For your magic act." She explained.  
"Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes." Wanda nodded.   
"We promise we will take good care of him," Y/N added, taking the cage into her arms. "I'll take him inside." She told Wanda.  
"I'll come with. I'll lock the back door." Wanda said, following her wife.  
"Senor Scratchy just loves the stage. He played baby Jesus in last year's Christmas pageant." Agnes bragged loudly as the two Vision women took her rabbit into their home. "Good morning, Dennis." That was the last thing Y/N and Wanda heard from Agnes as they disappeared into their home.  
"You gonna tell me what all that was about?" Y/N asked, putting Senor Scratchy's cage beside the couch.  
"What what was all about?" Wanda asked, locking the back door.  
"The helicopter." Y/N reminded. "You blanked out on me." She said as they moved back towards the front door.  
"I'm having a spacey day, sweetheart. That's all." Wanda assured, closing the front door and stopping Y/N on the porch. "I promise." She said, pressing a kiss to Y/N's lips, taking her hand, and walking back down to Agnes. "Shall we?"  
"We shall." Agnes smiled, hooking her arm around Wanda's free one. "So, are you ready to meet Queen Cul de Sac and her merry homemakers?" Agnes questioned the two.  
"Dottie, can't be as bad as you say, Agnes." Wanda laughed.  
"Wanda, have you met most women? Not everyone's like Agnes or us." Y/N asked, causing Agnes to laugh.  
"She's right, you know? You'll notice Dottie's roses bloom under the penalty of death." Agnes told the two, though Wanda scoffed a little. "Can I give you girls a bit of friendly advice?" Agnes asked, stopping in her tracks.  
"Is it about how we're dressed?"  
"Yes, but it's too late for that now," Agnes said, looking the two over.   
Wanda looked concerned, but Y/N couldn't bring herself to care.  
Pants were slowly becoming more incorporated in women's daily wardrobe, and Y/N wouldn't be giving them up for anyone.  
"Dottie is the key to everything in this town." Agnes continued. "Country club memberships, parties, school admissions." She teased the two.   
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Wanda shook her head, though there was a smile on her face.  
"You get in with Dotties, and it'll be smooth sailing from here on out," Agnes told them. "Just mind your P's and Q's, and you're gonna do just fine." She said assuringly.  
"Why can't we just be ourselves?" Y/N asked.  
"More or less so," Wanda added.  
Agnes stared at the two in confusion before letting out a laugh.  
"That's good, girls. Very good." She said.  
"Everyone, hurry up, please." A new voice called.   
The three women turned to the left and noticed a fair-haired woman leaving a house with a procession of women behind her.  
"Hiya, Dottie!" Agnes called. "Your roses are divine!" She complimented, waving a hand.  
Y/N and Wanda both followed suit and waved as well. Wanda little more enthusiastically than Y/N's awkward one.  
"Well, thank you." Dottie smiled politely and waved daintily.   
Neither Y/N nor Wanda knew just what they were getting themselves into.

Y/N, Wanda, and Agnes all followed Dottie and her group to the country club. The three had sat to the side as Dottie's followers meticulously set everything up.  
As one woman spoke about the fundraiser's progress, Wanda watched Dottie intently as the woman made her ice tea to her liking.  
"The rotary club is finishing the stage set-up as we speak. They've given the gazebo a fresh coat of paint, and they'll be installing the final decorations all throughout the town square. And if you recognize the antique footlights, it's because they're from my store." The lady standing finished explaining with a fake smile.  
"And the chairs?" Dottie asked, tilting her head to the side.  
The woman seemingly froze at Dottie's question before she forced a smile back onto her face.  
"I'm sorry, Dottie. I didn't ask about the chairs." She admitted.  
"So you better not ask me if you can chair any committees in the future," Dottie said, grinning at the other women who laughed at her words. "The devil's in the details, Bev," Dottie said, standing as Bev rushed back to her seat in shame.  
"That's not the only place he is," Agnes said to Wanda.  
"As you all know, the talent show is the sole fundraiser for Westview Elementary," Dottie explained.  
"This might help," Agnes said, raising a small flask.  
"Do you have any spare?" Y/N asked, leaning over Wanda, but Agnes shook her head.  
"In the eight years since I founded our little club, this event has gotten bigger and better every season." Dottie bragged as a woman passed around a tray of biscuits to Y/N, who handed them onto Wanda.  
"Say, those pants are peachy keen. Both sets." The mystery woman complimented.  
"Do you really think so?" Wanda asked with wide eyes. "The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried."  
"Not me," Y/N mumbled, sipping her drink.  
"We only have a few hours until showtime. So, a little less cross chatter and a little more focus would be greatly appreciated," Dottie interrupted, causing the three to freeze.  
"Okay." Wanda nodded, passing along the tray.   
"Those little boys and girls are counting on us. All of this is for the children." Dottie said.  
The other women, bar Y/N and Wanda, parroted back the phrase,   
"For the children."  
Y/N looked very uncomfortable at the chanting women and muttered,  
"This is a cult."  
But Wanda had been eating her biscuit and parroted the phrase back after everyone else had finished.   
Everyone turned to stare at the Vision women, and Dottie looked more than displeased at the two.  
"So I want you all to give yourselves a big hand," Dottie started but was interrupted by Wanda clapping loudly. "At the appropriate time, of course." Dottie scolded as you grabbed Wanda's hands and pulled them down. "But first, let's review event etiquette. The dress code is, of course, upscale garden party,"  
"The only reason I didn't clap is that I'm afraid to move." The woman beside Y/N leaned over to whisper.  
"I don't think I was paying enough attention to clap," Y/N told her. The woman smiled while Wanda lightly hit her wife's leg.  
"I actually don't know what I'm doing here." The mystery woman admitted.   
"I'm starting to feel that way myself," Wanda admitted. "I'm Wanda." She said, holding her hand out.  
"I'm, uh, Geraldine." The woman introduced herself after taking Wanda's hand.  
"And I'm Y/N."  
"And I'm irritated." Dottie interrupted, staring at the three of you, her features pinched together in anger. "Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. Now you can clap." Dottie commanded. The woman allowed everyone to clap for five seconds before she raised her hand. "And stop."  
"How is anyone doing this sober?" Agnes muttered, shaking her head.

Across town, Vision had finally made his way to the library and was rushing inside. Afraid to have missed his chance at joining the committee.  
Vision quickly found the group he was looking for, surrounding a table, speaking quietly amongst themselves.  
"Pardon me, is this the neighborhood watch meeting?" Vision asked, standing to the left of the group, his hat in his hands.  
Everyone turned to stare at the man, all clearly unsure what he was doing there.  
"Oh, hiya Vision. Didn't expect to see you here." Norm said. "This is sort of a 'members only' type of deal." He informed his coworker.  
"Oh certainly! Right, well." Vision stuttered, rocking back on his heels. "I'll just stay here and be quiet as a church mouse until you open up the floor for new business." Vision assured the assembled group.  
"Well, in truth, we were just getting to new business." Herb, his next-door neighbor, admitted.  
"Oh, splendid! Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols?" Vision inquired, pulling up a chair between Herb and Norm. "Do you interface directly with local law enforcement? And what are your protocols for threats such as burglary, graffiti, and reckless driving?" He pushed.  
"No Vision," Norm started, but Vision interrupted him.  
"I know these are indeed grave matters." Vision nodded.  
"New business actually means another round of Danish," Norm admitted.  
"Raspberry or cheese-filled?" Jones asked, pulling a box onto the table and sitting it before Vision.  
"Oh, neither for me, thank you. I don't eat food." Vision said without thinking.   
Vision didn't even register what he had said until he noticed the rest of the table staring at him in confusion.  
"What I mean to say is that I don't eat food in between meals but at mealtimes. I'm a regular eating machine." Vision rambled.  
There were a couple nods at Vision's reasoning, and Herb even huffed out a short laugh before he leaned in close to the table.  
"Hey fellas. Vision here does have a point. Now listen up because I got some top-secret intelligence for you." Herb told everyone who leaned in closer to hear.  
"Oh, excellent!"  
"You know how Johnson's been braggin' about that treehouse he built for his kids?"  
"Yeah?"  
"It's a prefab job," Herb informed everyone. The table immediately scoffed at his words and nodded along.  
"That blockhead can't even hold a hammer." One mocked.  
"I can do you one better." Norm bragged. "You know those bowling trophies Arthur's always polishing? He bought 'em all at a yard sale in Hackensack."  
"I knew it! I've never once seen him down at the lanes." Herb shook his head.  
Is this how I'm to fit in? Vision pondered. By peddling gossip and stories? Well, if it is to fit in. He decided, nodding to himself.  
"I, too have, some top-secret gossip to share." Vision announced. "Norm here's a communist." He declared.  
Norm froze for a second as the rest of the table turned to face him. But he didn't have to worry as everyone burst out into boisterous laughter, Norm included.  
"Vision, you're a real cut up." Jones complimented.  
"You know, I always thought you were kinda square," Norm told him.  
"Me? No! I'm as round as they come." Vision said, causing the rest of the men to laugh once more.  
"Hey, Vis, card for a stick big Red?" Herb asked, offering a stick of gum to the android.  
"Well, hold on a second. Didn't you hear the man? He doesn't eat food." Norm teased as Vision held the gum between two fingers.  
"Is gum food?"  
"Well, my understanding is that it's purely for mastication." Vision shrugged, turning his head to Herb for began to stutter.  
"Oh no, I don't do that!" Herb denied, shaking his head firmly.  
"Well, when in Westview." Vision shrugged, unwrapping the gum. "Cheers." He said, raising the stick before putting it in his mouth.  
"Who knew you were such a funny guy?" Norm asked.  
"And to think you came here all hot and bothered about protocols and nonsense." Herb chuckled. "We actually thought you were serious," Herb said, slapping Vision on the back.  
At the rough and sudden movement, Vision accidentally swallowed the gum in his mouth.  
Vision could feel the wad of gum sliding down his throat and getting stuck in his internal processors.  
"He's funny. All right, so, back to the barbeque." Herb directed the meeting back on topic.   
But what none of the other men noticed was Vision's growing panic at the foreign object now stuck in his internal processors.

Back at the country club, it was now only Y/N, Wanda, and Dottie.   
Wanda and Y/N had been tasked with cleaning up after the meeting while Dottie sat prissily behind them.  
"And this is why you never do a seating chart on an empty stomach," Dottie commented as Wanda heaved a heavy tray of plates onto the table.  
"Golly, you're a whiz at all the committee stuff, Dottie." Wanda complimented as Y/N picked up two stacks of teacups. "Thank you for choosing us to help you clean up. I feel so lucky." Wanda commented, taking one stack off Y/N's hands.  
"You are." Dottie shrugged as they lugged the china onto the cart.  
"I don't like her," Y/N whispered into her wife's ear once their backs were to their host. "Let's just split now."  
"Not yet." Wanda denied before turning back to Dottie. "I can't help but wonder if the three of us haven't gotten off on the wrong foot, Dottie. And I'd like to, we'd like to, correct that if we can."  
"And how would you do that?" Dottie asked, her face void of emotion.  
Wanda didn't have an answer for Dottie as she chuckled awkwardly and glanced at her wife for an answer. But Y/N didn't have one either.  
"I've heard things about you," Dottie revealed, rising to a stand. "About you, about your husband, and about your wife," Dottie said, pointing at both women.  
"Well, I don't know what you've been told, but I assure you we don't mean anyone any harm," Wanda said as Y/N moved to stand beside her.  
"I don't believe you," Dottie said, staring the two women down with a mean glare.  
For a minute, the three women merely stared at one another. Dottie glared in distrust, Wanda looked almost scared, and Y/N was glaring at Dottie for threatening her wife, husband, and their life here.  
The staring contest was interrupted by the radio crackling loudly before a man's voice came through it.  
"Wanda. Wanda, can you hear? Agent Barton, do you read me?"  
"Who is that?" Dottie asked, looking at the radio in fear.  
"Wanda? Y/N?"  
"Who are you?" Dottie gasped, now turning her fearful gaze to Wanda and Y/N.  
The voice continued to call for both Wanda and Y/N. It kept repeating their names until a glass shattered.  
The glass in Dottie's hand shattered, and the radio silenced.  
"Dottie!" Wanda gasped, gazing at Dottie's bleeding hand in shock.  
Wanda quickly took the woman's hand into her own as Y/N pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket.  
"Pop quiz, Wanda," Dottie said as Y/N wrapped her hand. "How does a housewife get a bloodstain out white linen?" She asked. When neither woman gave her an answer, she answered her own question. "By doing it herself."  
And with that, Dottie walked away.  
"Wanda, what is going on?" Y/N demanded as Wanda glanced down at the radio. "What was that? Was that you? That couldn't have been you. Why was it calling me Agent Barton?" Y/N questioned her.  
Wanda had never seen her wife really lose her cool in all their time together.  
Y/N was always the level-headed one of the trio.  
"Sweetheart," Wanda said, taking Y/N's face in her hands. At Wanda's touch, Y/N physically slacked in her grip. "You're exhausted," Wanda explained, running her thumb under Y/N's eye. "It's been a long day, and we didn't sleep last night. You need rest."   
"I need rest." Y/N agreed, nodding her head gently.  
"We have time before the show to go home and take a nap." Wanda determined. "Maybe we can find something for your head at home or some tea? Does that sound okay?"   
"That sounds okay." Y/N nodded, smiling at her wife. "You know it's really your fault we didn't get any sleep last night." Y/N teased as she stood upright.  
"Of course it was." Wanda smiled, wrapping her arm around Y/N's waist. "Let's get you home."  
As the two began to walk away, Wanda couldn't stop herself from looking back and at the radio.  
Just what was that?

Wanda and Y/N had gone home and taken an hour for themselves before they had to get ready for the show and bring their props down to the town square.  
All of their neighbors had prepared an act. Everyone was performing.  
Wanda, Y/N, and Vision were the last act on the agenda. The only problem with their performance was that they were missing a key component.  
They were missing Vision.  
"I'd hate to go after this guy." Geraldine giggled, staring at what was happening through the curtains while Wanda paced.  
"What?" Wanda panicked.   
"Oh no, not like that. You guys are gonna be great." Geraldine assured.   
"Oh, what time is it now?" Wanda asked, beginning to pace again.  
"Wanda, it's been two minutes," Y/N told the woman.  
"I just don't know where he could be."  
"Wanda, Vision will be here," Y/N promised, stopping her wife in her pacing by taking her hands. "He promised, and he'd never break a promise to us."  
"Is that him?" Geraldine interrupted, pointing to a man stumbling up the stairs.   
Y/N and Wanda both turned to see their husband stumbling up the steps of the gazebo.  
"It looks like he's got a little hitch in his giddyup," Geraldine commented, shaking her head.  
"Vis?" Wanda asked, moving towards the man.  
"Wanda! Wanda, my little cabbage, you look smashing!" Vision complimented before letting out a groan.  
"What have you been doing?" Y/N asked, stepping next to Wanda.  
"Not to worry, my little squash, me and the boys were just playing a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes." Vision said before shaking his head. "No, that's not right. Shoe horses. Horse's shoes!"  
"Listen, something strange happened with Dottie," Y/N said, grabbing Vision's arms. "And before that. Something strange has been going on all day. It's hard to explain." Y/N told him.  
"I was just playing with his shoes!" Vision yelled, pointing his finger at a man walking by in a horse costume.  
Both Y/N and Wanda stared at their husband in confusion. He'd never acted like this before.  
"What is going on?" Wanda asked a tad hysterically.  
"You are!" Geraldine interrupted.  
Wanda rushed to the curtains where Geraldine was peeking her head out to see Dottie giving a speech.  
"I want to thank you all for coming out to support Westview Elementary, "For the Children." Dottie gushed.  
"For the children." The crowd parroted back.  
"The whole town's in this cult." Y/N shook her head.  
"And for our final act, I give you Wanda, Y/N, and Vision," Dottie announced, politely clapping as she left the stage to sit with her husbands.  
Wanda grabbed Y/N's hand and pulled the woman through the curtains.  
The two smiled at the audience as they moved to their spot and, at the same time, gestured for Vision to exit.  
Except Vision didn't exit. He completely missed his cue.   
"Hey! Hey you! You're up, Cowboy!" Geraldine snapped backstage at Vision.  
"What?" Vision asked, struggling with a deck of cards. "Oh, shoot! I've got to go!"  
Vision rushed towards the stage, and instead of exiting calmly, as they had planned, Vision burst through the curtains.  
"Hello, Westview!" Vision exclaimed as Y/N and Wanda exchanged looks. "It's so lovely to be. I'm so sorry!" Vision apologized to a handrail he had bumped into. "Excuse me. I am Allure, and these are my delightful assistant's Illusion and Glamour."  
"I am Glamour," Wanda interjected, raising a hand in a flourish.  
"And I am Allure," Y/N added, copying Wanda's movements. "And this is the incredible,  
"Illusion." The two introduced.  
"Whatever they said." Vision nodded along. "Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled. But that's not your fault!" Vision told the audience. "It's because of human's limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe." He shrugged while his wife's once again stared at him questioningly. "Flourish!"  
"You don't have to say it out loud, honey," Wanda muttered.  
"You just do it. Like we practiced." Y/N added.  
"Bah!" Vision waved off the advice. "And now, my wive's and I will delight in your dumbstruck little faces. Flourish!" He called before he was suddenly floating above the stage.  
Wanda and Y/N froze at their husband's actions. And they weren't the only ones.   
Everyone in the audience saw what Vision was doing, and they all gasped at the sight of him floating.  
What was he thinking?  
Wanda's head snapped to the audience, and she noticed Dottie watching intently.   
Thinking quickly, Wanda pointed at Vision and conjured a wire for him to float from.  
Y/N, noticing Wanda's actions, rushed across the stage and moved a poster board revealing the lever connected to the rope and pully.  
"Ha! Do you see? He's using a rope!" Norm called from the audience.  
"Wanda, what's, oh God! No! Y/N, stop her!" Vision yelled as Wanda began to pull Vision higher, to the audience's delight. "Darlings, let me down! I'm feeling pukey!"  
After that line, Wanda finally lowered Vision to the ground as the audience clapped loudly.  
"Thank you!" Vision smiled. "What's next? Oh, yeah, this is, this is gonna be great!" He said, moving over to the piano. "A staggering feat of strength!" He bragged, raising the piano with one hand.  
The audience gasped and stared at the man in confusion.  
"What do you think of that?" Vision asked the crowd.  
"Illusion." Wanda gasped, struggling to think of how to fix this. "Illusion, Master of Engima, allow me." She said, wiggling her fingers subtly before rushing across the stage.  
Wanda grabbed the piano out of Vision's hand, and it was replaced by a cardboard replica.  
"Whoops!" Wanda gasped as she showed the audience the fake back. "You weren't supposed to see how we did that trick!" She teased, causing the audience to clap and giggle.  
"That was my grandmother's piano," Jones said in the audience, watching as Wanda threw the piano to Y/N.  
As the piano was removed from the stage, Vision turned his sights to the audience before excitedly exclaiming,  
"Sherbert! This is my old mate Sherbert!" Vision yelled, moving towards the crowd. "Stand up, Sherbert! Say hello to the crowd!" He demanded, rushing beside the other man.  
"It's Herbert. Herb." Herb clarified.  
"Pipe down, Sherbie, and pick a card." Vision said, pushing the deck in Herb's direction. "Any card, now put it back in the deck." He ordered, turning his back to his neighbor. "I'm not looking. All right, watch this."  
Vision halved the deck and pulled out the King of Diamonds, holding it smugly in front of Herb.  
"Is this your card?"  
"No." Herb shook his head.  
"I beg to differ." Vision scoffed, thrusting the card towards Herb.  
"It's not."  
"Really?" Vision asked, cocking his head to the side. "Is this your card?" He questioned, pulling out another card.  
"Vision," Y/N said from the stage, a fake smile on her face.  
But Vision ignored her as he continued to pull cards from the deck.  
"Is this your card? Is this your card? Is your card?" Vision kept repeating, showing cards and then throwing them to the side as Herb denied him.  
"Sweetheart?" Wanda asked as cards flew everywhere.  
"Is this your card?" Vision demanded, pulling out the King of Spades.  
"Oh, it is," Herb said, surprised at it finally being pulled out.  
"It is what?" Vision asked, staring at him in confusion.   
"It's my card." Herb smiled.  
"Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back." Vision scoffed, thrusting the card into the man's hands.  
"No, that's not what I meant. You did the trick right." Herb told him as Vision stormed away.  
"Well, of course, I did the trick right. I'm Illusion!" Vision exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "Flourish!" He emitted, bowing deeply.  
Wanda and Y/N quickly began to clap at Vision's trick', causing the audience to join.  
"And now, for my next trick," Vision began to announce.  
"He's still going?" Y/N whispered to her wife, who sighed.  
"Where's my hat? Who stole my hat?" Vision asked, turning to see his hat on the stage floor, Senor Scratchy hopping out of it. "Oh! Stop that rabbit!" He called as Y/N, and Wanda chased after the rabbit. "I've got to pull a hat out of you!"  
"Senor Scratchy's got real star quality, don't you think?" Agnes asked anyone who would listen as Wanda caught him.  
"Maybe we leave the poor bunny out of this one, shall we?" Wanda questioned, stroking the rabbit's fur gently.  
"That sounds swell," Y/N said, approaching Wanda with the cage.  
"Well then, I will just have to pull this hat out of myself!" Vision determined, facing the audience with a grin.  
"Vision no." Wanda gasped, staring at him pleadingly.  
"I'm doing it."  
"Don't you dare," Y/N said, putting her hands on her hips.  
"Ah-ha!" Vision cheered. Having ignored his wives pleading, Vision had gone ahead and pushed his hat through his torso.  
The crowd didn't clap, and they didn't gasp. Everyone merely stared in confusion, not understanding what they just saw.  
"If only we could tell you our secret." Y/N awkwardly smiled as Wanda wiggled her fingers.  
The curtains opened behind the three, revealing a set of mirrors to the audience.  
The assembled crowd let out sounds of recognition and began to clap, now understanding the trick.  
"Is that how mirrors work?" Bev wondered a costume horse head on her lap.  
"Shut up, Bev." Dottie scolded the other woman without even turning to look at her.  
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale." Vision announced as Wanda moved to get the cabinet while Y/N closed the curtains. "I bring you the Magnet of Crysteries!"  
"The Cabinet of Mysteries," Wanda told the crowd, a slight snap in her tone.  
Wanda was so fed up with how the day had gone that all she wanted was to get the show over with.  
But she was so focused on her frustration that she never noticed, Y/N wasn't in the cabinet.  
"I will now make my wife disappear!" Vision announced, opening the doors to show the crowd and shutting them before Wanda could enter.  
"Are you sure you don't want an audience volunteer named "My husband Ralph?" Agnes called from the crowd.  
The rest of the crowd, particularly the women, laughed at Agnes' joke.  
"No. Abracadabra!" Vision cheered, tapping his wand on the cabinet door.  
"Uh, Vision, sweetheart?" Wanda said from where she still stood.  
"Yeah?"  
"Hi." Wanda waved, causing Vision to freeze.  
"Oh."  
"Hiya, darlings," Y/N announced, now standing beside Vision.  
"Oh." Both her partners said, now staring at her.  
"What's in the box?" The crowd began to chant. "What's in the box? What's in the box?"  
"What is in the box?" Vision asked, staring at his wives in confusion.  
"What's in the box? What's in the box?"  
Wanda pointed at the cabinet, and when she and Vision opened the doors, there stood Geraldine.  
The audience all gasped at the woman's appearance before beginning to clap wildly.  
"Let's bounce," Y/N said, grabbing Vision's hand and dragging him off stage with Wanda following behind.  
Once away from the crowd, Vision immediately began to cry.  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid." Vision cried.  
"Vis, it is all right," Wanda assured, putting her hands on Vision's chest.  
"Vision, it's okay, everything is fine. You're not stupid." Y/N added, taking his hand in one of hers.  
"But what is going on with you?" Wanda demanded of him.  
"I have no idea!" Vision cried. "I've been feeling weirdy all day!"  
"It's okay. We can solve this," Y/N told him soothingly.  
Wanda stepped back and raised her hand towards him. She began to scan through Vision's systems and stopped in the middle of his torso.   
Vision let out a groan at the sensation as Wanda's eyes widened.  
Wanda worked her magic and forced the gum out of Vision's systems.  
The gum forced itself up Vision's throat and out of his mouth.  
"Disgusting," Y/N said, cringing at the scene.  
"Well, would you look at that? That really gummed up the works, didn't it?" Vision joked, the gum that had caused so many problems between his fingers. "I'm not as funny without it, am I?" He asked when neither of his wives responded.  
"Oh, honey, no," Y/N said, squeezing his hand. "You weren't funny with it either." She teased.  
"Well, you're back to yourself." Wanda sighed, relieved.  
"And that's all we really need," Y/N promised, leaning up to kiss his cheek.  
"Now, let's get out of here before Dottie, and the planning committee, string us up for ruining the show," Wanda said to the two.  
"Don't joke. The cult might actually do that." Y/N commented.  
"I'm sorry, what cult?" Vision asked, looking quite concerned.  
"I'll explain later," Y/N promised as the three reached the edge of the curtains.  
The three tried to inconspicuously sneak away from the show but were stopped with a cry.  
"You three, stop right there!"  
"Oh, we're dead." Y/N cringed as the three began to turn around with grimaces adorning their faces.   
"Nothing, like what the three of you just did up there, has ever happened in the history of our talent show," Dottie told the three.  
"Dottie, we are so,"  
"Hilarious." Dottie cut Wanda off. "That was the most hilarious act we've ever seen. Wouldn't you agree?" Dottie asked the crowd, who applauded in agreeance.  
Wanda let out a relieved chuckle while Y/N grinned victoriously.  
"Oh, yes, of course!" Vision exclaimed, playing along as if everything that had just happened was intentional.  
"You three, come on up. Come on." Dottie ordered.   
The married three all looked at one another before agreeing it was safe to move on stage.  
"On behalf of the planning committee, I would like to award you with the inaugural Comedy Performance of the year," Dottie announced, handing Wanda the trophy.  
The audience rose to their feet and began to cheer for the three.  
Wanda, Y/N, and Vision all giddily grinned as Wanda raised the trophy, and they indulged in their moment.  
Wanda heard clapping from the stage side and turned her head to see Geraldine clapping happily.  
Y/N, noticing where Wanda was looking, also turned to Geraldine and began to gesture her over.  
"Come on." Wanda mouthed as the other woman hesitated.  
With a bit more encouraging, and Vision pulling her over, Geraldine finally moved to stand with the three, a smile on her face.  
"I do have to ask," Geraldine whispered, turning her head to Vision. "One second I'm backstage, and the next, I'm in a dark cubby hole." She said as the four bowed. "How'd you do it?"  
"Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets." Vision said sagely. "He leaves that to his assistants.  
"And she's not talking," Y/N told the curious woman.  
"Nope. Neither of them are." Wanda added with a sly smile.  
"Why did I have a feeling you'd say that?" Geraldine asked with a giggle.  
"For the children!" Norm called from the crowd.  
"For the children!" The rest of the crowd repeated.  
"It's still culty," Y/N whispered in her wife's ear.

The three were in a joyful mood as they walked home. Despite the show not going the way they had wanted it to, everything had turned out okay.  
They had fit in with their neighbors, entertained their friends, and no-one was any the wiser about their secrets.  
"When did you learn to salsa dance?" Wanda laughed, watching as Y/N and Vision danced down the street.  
"I don't remember when I learned to, I just know it was at night, and I read many books on the subject." Vision said as he twirled Y/N out.  
"Of course you." Y/N laughed before she took over the dominant role and began to lead. She then spun Vision towards Wanda.  
The three continued to dance into their home, their costumes and other items balanced in skilled hands.  
"You were tremendous, Glamour." Vision complimented, opening the door as Wanda dramatically fell into his arms.  
"As were you, Illusion," Wanda said, grinning up at the man.  
"Despite the circumstances." Y/N smiled, entering behind the two. Wanda had moved out of Vision's arms to put the trophy away, allowing Vision to wrap both arms around Y/N's waist.  
"Why, thank you, Allure." Vision said, smiling down at his wife. Y/N returned the smile before leaning up to kiss the man.  
"I don't know what I was so worried about." Wanda sighed, taking her seat on the couch. "It wasn't so hard to fit in at all."   
"And all we had to do was be ourselves." Vision agreed, sitting to her right.  
"At least the public version," Y/N smirked, sitting on Wanda's other side.  
"And it was all for the children."  
"For the children."  
"For the children."  
"Well, I think the children might need some popcorn," Wanda commented.  
"And some coffee," Y/N added as she and Wanda rose to their feet.  
"Wanda. Y/N." Vision said, stopping the two of them in their tracks.  
"Hmm, what?"  
"Yes, sweetheart?"   
As Vision rose from the couch, his gaze remained focused on their stomachs, causing the two to finally look down.  
"Oh shoot." Y/N gasped, noting hers and Wanda's matching bellies.   
"Is this really happening?" Wanda asked, a hand on her engorged stomach and her other on Y/N's.  
"Yes, my love." Vision smiled, leaning down to kiss Wanda gently as if she would break if he applied too much pressure.  
"We're gonna have a family." Y/N smiled, pressing her fingertips onto Wanda's stomach as her husband and wife pulled apart.  
"We are, my dove." Vision nodded, grin still attached to his face, before leaning down and kissing Y/N with the same gentleness.  
"We're pregnant." Wanda grinned, her eyes slightly glassy before she pulled Y/N into a kiss. Hers more firm than the one's Vision had done.  
As Wanda kissed Y/N, there was a loud banging outside, causing the three to jump.  
"If that's that damn tree again, I'm going to rip it out by the roots." Vision snapped, storming towards the door.  
"Don't touch my tree, Vis!" Y/N exclaimed as she and Wanda followed after Vision.  
"I don't see anything," Wanda said as the three searched the yard for the noise.  
"What is that?" Vision asked, standing at the gate. Y/N and Wanda moved to see what he was looking at and saw a storm drain cover moving.  
As something began to climb out, Vision moved forward and wrapped his arms around his wives protectively.  
A man in a beekeeper's costume emerged, a swarm of bees surrounding him.  
"No," Wanda whispered as the man's head snapped towards the three.

"We're pregnant." Wanda grinned, her eyes slightly glassy before she pulled Y/N into a kiss. Hers more firm than the one's Vision had done.  
When the two pulled apart, it was as if their world was suddenly all the more vibrant.   
Their home was bright, and the three were glowing.   
"Everything's changing," Y/N said, looking at her partners with a grin.  
"It is." Vision agreed, pulling the two women into his embrace.  
"All for the better," Wanda told the two.  
And it was.


End file.
